Defying Gravity

Whoah! It's been a helluva long time since I wrote anything here. I guess I got into some sort of depressive slump when I got back from Vancouver, and when it comes to writing online to noone/everyone, my ambition has been low to blog. However, things are not all that bad back in Minnesota. I am a struggling graduate, looking for my dream job. At this point, almost ALL jobs are dream-worthy. I did secure a part-time job at Target and (YAY!) an (unpaid) internship downtown at a little place called the Minnesota AIDS Project both in the first couple weeks of being back in the U-S-A.

So far, I really like working at MAP. I'm one of the Special Events interns and we already have our big event in a few weeks on May 16th, so woohoo!!! I've been kept pretty busy doing tons of logistics tasks like writing and organizing about 40 thank-yous, organizing sponsors, researching past events or with other cities to see what to change, and corresponding with volunteers needed on event day. Also, it's pretty much gay-town at MAP, so baaasically it's perfect for me. Because as my fave Canada faggy, Kris, told me, I'm pretty much a gay man in a woman's body. Hmm, I don't really know what else to say on that matter, feeling pretty awkward now. Moving on.....

So I pretty much decided that 2010 is going to be the best year ever! I'm done with school now, I am at a turning point in my life, and who knows what I will be doing in the next six months. I got back a month ago from one of the greatest and most valuable opportunities of my life, and it's already benefiting me. I'm also realizing a few things about myself, now that my life is heading to a new chapter, and I'm finally ready to let go of some things I've been struggling with. Won't go into detail on this matter, but for the first time in over a year I'm feeling like a weights been lifted off of my shoulders and I'm seeing more clearly. I'm feeling really excited about the rest of the year, and especially summer, now that it's getting SO nice out!

So that's the latest update on my life. I'm glad to be back into somewhat of a schedule because I thrive on being busy. The friend count is low being back in Prior Lake, but other than that, and the fact that LOST and Glee are now on at the same time, everything else is peachy!

Peace, love, and Sue Sylvester,
A


Also, I happened to be thinking about my friend McKinley yesterday, who took his life a couple of months ago. He was absolutely brilliant and adored, and it bummed me out a lot, but I found this poem of his, and it really inspired me. RIP McKinley

Sunrise

This is a poem about sunrise.

This is a poem about watching red and pink respiration finesse the base of the horizon, with eyes closed knowing that this is all there really is.

This is a poem about holding someone’s hand or arm or your own hand or nothing and the rush of morning pours over you.

This is just a poem about sunrise. This is not a poem about anything else.

This is not a poem about a first date, the fact that you hate someone you used to love, getting snubbed by your crush, rushing to see someone who you haven’t seen for ten hours and now it’s almost eleven, heaven-sent individuals or hell-bent residual mistakes.

This poem is about the feeling you get getting up at home or elsewhere carefree and free to appreciate the elation based in the sun and encased in it’s run along the tips of whatever it’s framing. It’s the same window with the same view but the difference is you. You’ve seen every sunrise but your eyes are never prepared for what they share with the morning. It’s about the first warming rays of the day erasing the night’s decay and playing games with your levels of vitamin E.

This poem is not about oppression, about how the possession of wealth has stealthily been divided among society so that while we prioritize money it’s funny that so many don’t have enough, or about how tough it is to live the American dream if you didn’t start out sleeping with riches.

This poem is about 5:00 AM, when you’re awake and don’t have to be, or you do have to but you happened to notice that below the blackness is opening up an orange hue and you forget how tired you are and that the stars are fading just that the trade from night to day is amazing and the blazing entrance makes you remember that it might not always be just you and the sunrise but it is always you and the sunrise.

This is not a poem about anything except sunrise. It’s about standing on the handrail of a second-story balcony thousands of miles from home with the smoke from your Black & Mild getting in your eyes as you strain to see the sun come up over the L.A. skyline. It’s about sitting on the shore of a secluded mountain lake alone at home with the water lapping the fog wrapping around your ankles and being thankful for everything in existence, which to you right now is this sunrise. Sunlight goes much deeper than the eyes, it finds your center, and everyone must be meant to arise a little bit earlier. 

Our worlds revolve around our daily lives, but each day evolves from inside a sunrise.   Wake up.

By McKinley Lukes
RIP 1/18/2010